Too many walls, not enough bridges

I have been a feminist for a long time, for so long that I don’t even remember the last time I thought about the issue of equality between men and women from another angle. Lately, I have been witness to and part of certain situations and circumstances which have got me thinking about the most debated topic since the creation of Earth- men and women. This time around, I have something to tell the womenfolk out there. Yes, the things I say need not hold true for all of the women, but yeah I am speaking to the majority of the women that I interact with on a day-to-day basis. No, I am not talking about open-minded women in Bombay, Dubai or Kochi, but of the many closed minded women who still exist in all these places.

Oh, Woman, I feel you have grown very comfortable with the boundaries that you have set for yourself. In this hue and cry against inequality and the anxiousness of being treated differently, if you ask me, you have found a comfort zone. A comfort zone which may turn out to be fatal for the whole of womankind. A comfort zone in which you find it easier to fend off a guy from having a real conversation with you than actually opening up and talking to him about you. Like all women are not the same, you must also know that all men are not the same. You must know that I wouldn’t mind knowing about the shit that you go through every single day. Only then will I learn to respect you and see you for the enduring spirit that you are. Somewhere behind that wall you built around you, you forgot to keep any bridges for me to understand you. I want you to tell me about your pains, your fantasies and your aspirations. Tell me about your worries and problems. Your mood is bad because you have your periods? Tell me and I shall try to understand. Every other dark alley reminds you of the auto driver who flashed at you, tell me and I shall try to understand. You feel frustrated when your brother goes out with your friends late at night, but you are not allowed to, tell me and I shall try to understand. You find it difficult to hold your bladder all the time, tell me and I shall try to understand. You would rather choose not to have breasts than walk around with the bra on you all the time, tell me and I shall try to understand. If you are uncomfortable when someone takes a picture of you because you had an asshole of a boyfriend, tell me and I shall try to understand. For it is only when you tell me that I can think about what you have been through. For you and I are different, for I don’t read faces nor think too much. Then how do you expect me to know your pain if you don’t share it with me? Or have you lost so much of hope in me, that you choose not to? For let me assure you one thing, there are more men like me who are willing to try to understand, but fewer women like you who would give us a chance. Because I don’t know what I would have done without you. I love you.

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